I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize