the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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