happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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