dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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