Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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