it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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