Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize