I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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