sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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