he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
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My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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