Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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