I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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