There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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