we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
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Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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