i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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