I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize