yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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