We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't deserve a penis
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize