Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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