her vagina looked like bernie madoff
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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