Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize