nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
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A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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