PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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