he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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