You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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