Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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