you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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