Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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