so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
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Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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