'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize