i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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