We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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