The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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