i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize