I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize