Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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