never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize