i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize