forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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