Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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