My pussy is not your playground.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize