I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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