I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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