and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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