..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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