this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize