All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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