Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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