I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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