Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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